REMEMBERING ZACHIE SEPAROVIC
Vale Zachary Separovic
our beautiful, talented, creative son.
26/01/1986 – 19/09/2022
Remembering Zachie
This website hopes to memorialise the extraordinary and blazing life of Zachie Separovic as it commemorates his tragic death by suicide at the age of thirty-six years. Zachie was a loving, adventurous little boy, always creating mischief and mayhem. I remember a time when he leapt off the bathroom basin into his bath while carrying something he thought resembled a lifesaving device he’d seen while watching the television series, Baywatch. Always impressionable, he would often take on the persona of one of his favourite fictional heroes; Indiana Jones and Wolverine come to mind. There were many more incidents like this one and there were times when I wondered if he’d survive his boyhood unscathed; the irony is not lost on me now. Zachie possessed an uncanny spatial awareness and when he visualised himself doing something unfamiliar, like a forward roll over the high jump bar at the primary school sports, or kicking numerous goals for his local Beecroft soccer team, he accomplished them with ease. He was so at home in his early childhood body but this changed dramatically with
the later onset of juvenile arthritis. When Zachie was seven years old, he lost his best friend Chris Holsgrove in a freak trail bike accident and he told me years later he thought this may have been when he began to feel anxious about his body, about the uncertainty of life, about his life in particular.
Making music, bands and musicians were his passion from an early age; he shared a dream of playing at Wembley Stadium with his high school friend Ryan, the drummer in their band South from Here, later renamed The Instincts. He had many early musical influences e.g. The Beatles, Queen, Oasis and of course, Nirvana to name just a few. During late adolescence the early signs of mental illness began to fully emerge, initially anxiety disorder, with numerous visits to psychologists and psychiatrists with changing diagnoses, medications and periods of hospitalisation following over the years. None of these interventions seemed to noticeably help Zachie and his mental distress seemed to escalate as he matured. In mid-2021 during a Covid lockdown when he was interstate, Zachie experienced an extreme physical and mental health crisis after resuming a course of a drug called Isotretinoin or Accutane, prescribed for his persistent and painful acne; his life became an insufferable nightmare as the horrendous side effects from this drug, combined with other substances and the many other psychiatric medications prescribed for him over the years, took a fatal hold of Zachie's mind and his precious body. The two morally abhorrent, malicious, and threatening messages Zachie received in March and August of 2022 exacerbated his already fragile mental state, adding more misery to the last months of his life; I felt powerless to reach him despite how hard we, and the mental health care professionals, all tried. Zachie's suicide was also aided and abetted by Kenneth Law, a Canadian who allegedly supplied over 1,200 suicide kits to vulnerable people all over the world (see https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68176391). Kenneth Law is currently awaiting trial in Canada on fourteen charges of first-degree murder. Two reporters from The New York Times reveal where Zachie sourced the information about Kenneth Law and his suicide kits in an article from PBS https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/why-a-website-with-explicit-directions-for-suicide-remains-active It makes fascinating reading.
In hindsight, the terror, pain, and suffering Zachie endured over his short life, and during this acute period in particular, was overwhelming for him and for those of us who loved him. The fact he managed to live, love and create music for as long as he did, is a testament to his courage and his love.
A few resources I have found helpful for those of us who have tragically lost someone we love to suicide:
Coping with Grief after a Suicide Death:
https://coroners.nsw.gov.au/documents/guides/coping%20with%20suicide%20v2.pdf
https://sosbsa.org.au/resources
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion.
We all miss you Zachie and we thank you for the time and the love you managed to give us.
Please feel free to explore this site, joining with us as we celebrate Zachie’s extraordinary life while preserving his memory and sharing the musical legacy he left us.
Imagine the Music
I love to imagine
you’re somewhere safe and warm
free from fear, pain and paranoia
calm and creative
as you write songs with Kurt Cobain
jam with John and George
commiserate with Robin Williams
explore archetypes with Jung
as you share yourself with Heath
I love to imagine
you’re cooking up a storm with Anthony Bourdain
arguing with Marx as you
keep Jim Morrison company
discussing films with Philip Seymour Hoffman
singing your heart out with Sinead
keeping Laura, a fellow Northpark refugee company
leaving those of us left here
loving you
as we live out our life sentence
without you.
by Kaye Separovic
Zachie was a strong supporter of my poetry; I sought his critique prior to publishing. He generously wrote music to accompany one of my poems, A Song for Zachary, he renamed On The Cusp Again. The word in the chorus he sings at the end of the song is 'fleeting' which is not mentioned in the poem. When I asked him why he chose it, he said Mum, because you always say everything in life is fleeting; little did I imagine then his life would be so.
Months after his death I reached out and reconnected with the musicians, bands, and friends he had known in Melbourne where he and Ryan relocated as young musicians in search of like minds, adventure, fame, and gigs; ‘Zachie the Musician’ is the result of this reaching out and the responses I received.
Zachie the Musician. . . .
Throughout his teenage years and prior to his death, Zachie was writing songs, creating music, and collaborating with other musicians in Melbourne and beyond. South From Here had morphed into The Instincts with gigs and CD launches in hotels across Fitzroy, Collingwood, and Brunswick. It was a fertile period creatively with time also spent in other bands such as The Sins and The Last Chill. What follows are brief summaries of these collaborations with links to music where available and accompanying images when I was fortunate enough to be provided with some. I remember the South from Here CD cover well; it was from a photograph I’d taken in Paris in 2002 while presenting a paper at the University of Rheims. Zachie gave me credit for the photograph and I was over the moon to rate a mention on this first CD. A good friend and colleague from Macquarie University, Professor Bill Thompson, gave this first album a great review much to Zachie's delight.
Here is an early article about South from Here by journalist Lisa Muxworthy in a local Sydney paper, when Zachie and Ryan were just seventeen years of age and already ambitious.
The following link is a review from Triple J Unearthed before the band moved from Sydney to Melbourne. Some of the songs featured in the earlier album by South from Here entitled 12 O’clock Sunshine, were carried over into later albums by The Instincts. When searching online, I couldn’t find any reference to the release of this early CD by South from Here. https://www.abc.net.au/triplejunearthed/artist/instincts/
The Instincts
After moving to Melbourne, the band continued to pursue their passionate ambition. The image below is from an early EP recording of three tracks released on myspace in 2010. The tracks are as follows:
-
Don’t you love me
-
Who made you
-
Something Bad is on
From left to right Ryan Jones, Zachie and Phil Georgiou.
Bio. . .
South From Here, which later became The Instincts, were the brainchild of Zachie Separovic (Lead vocals, Guitars, Bass*) and Ryan Jones (Drums, keys, and backing vocals) who met as teenagers at a Sydney high school in 1999. The two remained inseparable as their music collaboration progressed. Phil Bible contributed bass for some live performances and some scarce recordings in the early years, before The Instincts signed with a production label on the New South Wales Central Coast (Australia). Here, they played showcases in front of Larry Page (The Kinks, The Troggs) as well as liaising with Baby Animals guitarist and songwriter Dave Leslie. The Instincts also supported the band Evermore on their regional Australian tour in 2006. Zachie and Ryan moved to Melbourne in 2009 to search for like-minded artists and a new bass player. Here, they stumbled across Phil Georgiou who took on the lead role in production as well as bass and back-up vocals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFRCSbiink4 The Instincts – Tracking 2010 reveals the remarkable musical rapport between Ryan and Zachie.
The Instincts recorded their debut album, 'Vanity Over Sanity' in 2013 and toured Victoria in support of this recording. They then released their sophomore album, 'Pretty Ill' in 2015. There were limited touring opportunities to support this album and over time, Zachie's mental health continued to decline. Finally, in the very early hours of Monday, 19th September in 2022, Zachie took his own life after a long, brave and courageous struggle with his mental health; before leaving us, he released some retrospective Instincts material, his chosen legacy, the Essentials Collection, on Spotify.
Spotify – Essentials Collection - you can find the bands other releases on this site, including the Live Rehearsal album released in 2017.
Images from the cover of The Instincts debut album, 'Vanity Over Sanity' released in 2013; the band toured Victoria
with Evermore in support of this recording.
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The Sins
Zachie joined The Sins while he was in a relationship with musician Bronwyn Layla, the two remained good friends after their relationship broke-up. “We aren’t the sinners, we’re the sins.” Zachie, Bron and T (AKA 3 best friends going through hell and having a good time).
Bio. . .
The Sins were formed as an outlet; as an expression of our art, and as a way for 3 people who loved and respected each other as humans and as musicians to endeavour together when we felt broken. We had a vision and we saw it through until the end. The album ‘Nowhere to go’ became the soundtrack to some of the best but mostly the worst times in our lives. Rehearsing and recording in 2016 got us out of bed on Saturday mornings and to the Wick, our rehearsal studio, bar, and a place to talk shit and laugh at ourselves. The songs are as haunting as they are catchy. With pop sensibilities and sad poems, we told the stories of our lives as they were at the time. We played our hearts out for the next few months at The Brunswick Hotel and at Woody’s bar in Collingwood, and recorded the album at Irene’s Warehouse. Those rehearsals, recording sessions and gigs will live on in our hearts forever, and Zach lives on inside of our music.
https://wearethesins.bandcamp.com/album/nowhere-to-go
Bio by T and B
The Sins performing their debut gig at Woody’s in Collingwood, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
The Last Chill.
Greg Jordan
Good Sunday morning friends. The late great Zachary Separovic playing bass on the right. He was farewelled by family last week. L-R - Me, Billy Paskalis, Dean McLachlan, Tommy Burgess, Zach. Brunswick Hotel Circa 2014
Never forgotten.
Zachie rehearsing with Greg Jordan from The Last Chill in 2019.
Many thanks to Greg Jordan from The Last Chill who provided the rehearsal tapes featuring Zachie's contribution to what was going to be a future recording. Zachie may have lived a relatively short and extraordinary life, but he left a blazing trail of love, music, and song as his legacy.
In Bloom
fragments exploding
light and dark
pieces of you
how you ran from them
wrestled with them
tried to hide from them
exposed them in your songs
your pain
that singular loneliness
tinged with terror
was yours alone
to bear
I imagine you
in an afterlife
those fragments
coalescing in harmony
as you bloom
in another life.
(From ‘Remembrance of what Remains’, the third collection in a trilogy of poems, published by Rebel Magic Books https://www.rebelmagicbooks.com/our-books and available on Amazon. This collection commemorates the first anniversary of Zachie’s death on September 19th, 2023.)
Tributes. . . .
When Zachie’s high school friend and The Instincts drummer Ryan, heard of his death, he wrote a beautiful song as a tribute; I call this song The Ghost Song. Zachie’s older brother Joss created an instrumental version of Nirvana’s song Teen Spirit and put together a video with a collage of images accompanied by these two pieces of music viz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaZQkkHgCxU – Zachie video - a tribute with special thanks to Joss, Ryan and EB.
The Ghost Song
- written by Ryan after I had called him with the news of Zachie’s suicide.
It’s been wonderful
but the ghosts have come today.
You’ve been beautiful.
Yeah, your ghost it came today.
Your ghost it came today.
Anyone for a second go?
Has gone away. Has gone away.
He’s gone.
You’ve been wonderful
but you’ve been gone for days.
You’ve been gone for daze and days.
These memories will not fade.
Anyone for a second cut? Is not gone away.
But gone away. Gone away. Yeah.
He’s home xxx
Also, a quote from Ryan Jones in late 2022, 'Rest in peace Zachie. Your music is a gift that continues to provide happy memories of my youth as well as incredible insight into your daily battles with life and death.'
Zachie
I am blessed
by the authentic
by the shape of tides
by the perfect explosions
of stars
and blameless trees
how rare is a heart
pure as cloud
that can only be
itself
what a gift
a perfect mirror
that knew truth
was not honesty
how gigantic
and meek you were;
but, you carry on your way
a song in the rain
a laugh in the crowd
I hear your last word
love.
By Uilleam De Cnoc.
A friend.
From an old friend of mine and former work colleague: “I aways imagine Zach surrounded by music and song. I imagine his soul singing through the breeze.”
Bel, a friend of Zachie’s, unable to find words, provided the following image from happier times; they’re holding tickets to a Kasabian concert.
Another close Melbourne friend wrote the following:
“He’s such a beautiful person who has led such a full life. Although I’m devastated beyond explanation, I am so grateful to have gotten to meet him, and have him share his life with me even for a short time; I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I miss him a lot, but am so grateful I was lucky enough to share some time with him especially at his most vulnerable, it was a privilege.”
A response from a fellow Northpark refugee, Mel Haby after she had learned of Zachie’s suicide:
“Hello Kaye, I was a friend of Zachie’s and a fellow Northpark refugee, I had been trying to reach him and have only just today learned of his death. Please allow me to express my deepest and most sincere condolences, I am so incredibly sad that Zach lost his battle. I remember a conversation we had after he learnt of Laura’s death, about how mental illness was a terminal illness. I wish I could have been there for Zachie better, which is the exact feeling he expressed to me over the phone about Laura. I understand exactly how he felt now, how I feel about him right now. I wanted to tell you that Zachie made my first stay at Northpark bearable.
Mel's tribute to Zachie on the Art Wall at Northpark Psychiatrict Hospital.
We were “thick as thieves” after recognising very quickly a love of music and cigarettes in each other. Zach playing guitar and singing in the courtyard was so special. We had so many amazing talks about life, love and pain late into the evenings over too many cigarettes. I am a sharer in your grief today that Zachie is gone.
. . . . . . I also wanted to tell you how much Zach spoke about you with great love. He told me once, that one of his favourite memories as a child was crawling into bed with you when you were sick and having cuddles with you. As a mum of a little boy myself, I thought that was an incredibly special memory that I wanted you to know Zachie spoke about.
We have shared many stories and smiles and also tears in the ward these last few days, everybody speaks so fondly and highly of him. Zachie was a very unique and caring person and I can’t imagine the magnitude of your grief and loss The webpage you created is a beautiful tribute, and I sincerely thank you for it as it gave me the answer I was searching for when I couldn’t reach Zach. Sending you strength.”
Throughout his life Zachie touched people deeply, usually in a good way, sometimes not so during episodes of mental illness. There was something unique about Zachie that people responded to; he gave generously, loved fiercely and people reciprocated in kind. Some said he was like a time traveller or someone from another world. with wisdom beyond his years, a bright light that burn't itself out too early. How tragically sad our fierce collective love was not enough to save him. May his spirit soar as he jams with other musicians in the afterlife as those of us who go on loving him, try to negotiate our way through life without him. How I miss him; when Zachie said, as he did often, ‘I love you Mum’, I’d say ‘I love you back, front, and always.’
The love of Zachie
The evening before your death
you sent me ‘I love you Mum ♥’ messages
links to the music of Ludovico Einaudi
sharing the enjoyment
of his music
wished me a nice day
in anticipation of breakfast
with my old friend Angela
over that weekend
you called
or sent messages
to those friends you loved
who had been kind to you
as you lived,
how could they have known
you were saying goodbye?
that knowledge
came later,
missed calls
created such grief
you researched a drug
to help maintain my kidney function
your offer to donate wasn’t possible
our blood groups being incompatible
a month later the nephrologist
prescribed it as I sobbed in his office
I listen to Ludovico’s
music everyday
I take the dapagliflozin
everyday too
you shared a link
to Coinneadh Cu Chuliann
the Irish Lament for my son
the *Davey Spillane version
we talked about
the hauntingly beautiful
Uilleann pipes
these days I struggle to listen
to that valedictory music
the fallen leaves of my memories
are gathering at my feet
I shuffle and dance
in their glow and decay
I ask myself questions that have no answers
and hope to fly as high as you
on wings of grace
before my fall.
Kaye Separovic
*Link to Coinneadh Cu Chuliann: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDyMFP6yzfk
This poem is part of a collection from a publication called Tideline, written to commemorate the second anniversary of Zachie's death by suicide as it celebrates his loving and creative life. It's available from Amazon.
September
Time declared two years
without you this month
the grief monster laughed
knowing the illusion of its passing
your ghost walks with me
along the headland track
air heavy with your loss
falls upon my shoulders
I whisper your name
to the universe
to the ocean
as it ebbs and flows
immersed in the tidal pull
of my grief
his name is Zachary
I say, he is my son,
he is my son.
Zachie and me on the Tura headland in May 2022, New South Wales, Australia.
Our shadows as we walked to the headland track together.
Kaye Elisabeth Separovic
Tura Beach
New South Wales
September 2023 - 2024.
Zachie's Music
![Feel Alright Steve Earle cover by The Instincts 720p]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XvuVjSW3VcA/maxresdefault.jpg)
CONTACT
If you would like to share your stories, photos, or songs with, about, or inspired by Zachie and his life, please email:
